William Shakespeare Must Have Been a Pelicans Fan


In 1603 a playwright by the name of William Shakespeare published a work that is still revered hundreds of years later: Hamlet. Shakespeare worked meticulously to avoid omitting any important details in the story of the Prince of Denmark, and it appeared he had succeeded.

Until today.

Sources (who shall remain unnamed) unearthed an original Shakespearean draft of the famous “To Be or Not To Be” soliloquy, which was scrapped from the published version and has not seen the light of day since.

We here at the Big Easy Believer were fortunate enough to get our hands on it, and are happy to finally release it to the world:

"“To tank, or not to tank: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to trudge on through injury after injury, or to take arms against a sea of uncertainty, and by losing end it? To lose: to tank; no more; and by tanking to say we end the heartache and the relentless disappointment this roster is heir to, ’tis a consummation devoutly to be wished. To lose, to tank; To tank: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that act of tanking what dreams may come when we have finally done away with this season, must give us pause: there’s the respect that makes calamity of such up-and-down seasons; For who could bear the eight seed in the west, the victim of the Golden State Warriors in Round One, the joke of NBA executives, analysts and fans alike, the dreams of a fully healthy roster, and inconsistent performances against the worst of the league, when a team can just throw away the season? Who would carry the burden of this mediocrity, to just get to the end of the season, but the dread of something after the season’s end, that chance that the Draft Lottery will not be won, and Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram are not to be had? Thus conscience does make cowards of us all, for we would rather face the evils, like the lottery, which we have come to know, than the others, like trying to upset the mighty Warriors in the opening round, we know not. With this regard, their currents turn awry, and lose the name of action.”"

Yes, that’s right. Prince Hamlet, or his creator William Shakespeare, must have been a Pelicans fan.

The Pelicans are not explicitly mentioned, but my sources have assured me that they are, without question, the subject.

Uncovering how Shakespeare saw this scenario coming hundreds of years ago could be a world changing discovery. But what really matters here is the question he posed in this draft:

Should the Pelicans tank?

Mar 19, 2015; Phoenix, AZ, USA; New Orleans Pelicans guard Eric Gordon (10) and guard Tyreke Evans (1) against the Phoenix Suns at US Airways Center. The Suns defeated the Pelicans 74-72. Mandatory Credit: Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

This season has been frustrating, to say the very least, for the Pelicans. The injuries have gone from annoying to frustrating to downright ridiculous, and losses continue to pile up against the best and worst teams in the NBA.

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  • Despite losing Tyreke Evans and Eric Gordon in the backcourt, they were able to rip off a 5-2 homestand that was not far removed from being perfect. Once again, hope had been injected into the unstable life of this season.

    Like clockwork, the momentum vanished. After losing to the lowly Lakers for the second time this season last night, the Pels have dropped three straight games and remain thirteen games below .500.

    The past few weeks have been no different from the rest of the season: they struggle, come together for a few games, and then go right back to square one. I’ll admit, remaining optimistic is quite tough in an environment as cruel as this.

    I am not opposed to adding to the pool of winning lottery combinations, but the way things are looking in the standings right now, the Pels would really need to fall off of a cliff to join the bottom six.

    Unless Davis sits out a large chunk of the remaining schedule, I cannot see that happening.

    Feb 1, 2016; New Orleans, LA, USA; New Orleans Pelicans forward Anthony Davis (23) reacts during the fourth quarter of a game at the Smoothie King Center. The Grizzlies defeated the Pelicans 110-95. Mandatory Credit: Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

    However, even at the sixth spot in the lottery, they would have a twenty-two percent chance of jumping into the top three picks of the draft.

    It would be hard to complain with that outcome.

    I will continue to advocate as the season goes on, though, that the team should not start from scratch.

    As the season flies past the halfway point, the end of the road is just as foggy for this Pelicans team.

    Only time will tell whether this season was truly meant to be, or not to be…….